I have uncovered unsettling evidence that Jade Goody is in fact an MI5 agent, and that the whole Big Brother/racism/media circus thing is in fact a distraction, aimed at leading public attention away from the fact that a disgruntled GCHQ employee has leaked a secret Government Report that Princess Diana was in fact killed by Elvis Presley, because she knew too much about what really killed the dinosaurs. Elvis’ death in 1977 was faked so that he could go back into the army and travel undercover to decode alien signals from Arecibo
Naaah. Only kidding.
But on a more serious note, I just want to state my firm conviction that I am totally against err err the thing that all those people were talking about. But there are no easy solutions.
Somewhere in here I think there is some kind of completely tasteless astro-joke about Chandrasekhar, Oxbridge racism, collapsed objects, and British Imperial History, but I can’t quite crystallise it. A big no-prize for every entry submitted. Nuff Said.